Loving the Sun
by astridt244
Summary: Life can be beautiful, harsh, joyful, cruel, and heartbreaking. Love makes it all worth it. - Bella loses Jacob in the fight with the Newborns. But not all is as it seems... - "Who so loves believes the impossible." Elizabeth Barrett Browning (On Temporary Hiatus)
1. The Decision

_Writer's Note: This is something that would not leave my mind. I am not giving up on my other fics, don't worry. RL is still being difficult. Truthfully do not know where this came from. It popped in my head and wouldn't go away. I even dreamed about it. As crazy as it is. It is a short fic. Nothing too long... As always, this fic is Non-Canon/AU_

_- Takes place after Jacob and Bella kiss just before the fight with the newborns in Eclipse. -_

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><p><strong>Do Not Own Twilight.<strong>

"_Love is the beauty of the soul."_

_- Saint Augustine_

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><p><strong>Loving the Sun<strong>

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><p><strong>-The Decision-<strong>

Bella was anxious for Jacob to come back to her. She made her decision; she knew who she truly loved all along. It was her sun, her best friend, her light in the darkness - _Jacob_. It had always been Jacob. She had been too blinded by Edward to figure it out sooner.

When he ran toward the forest, a large part of her soul left with him. She hoped with every fiber of her being for his safety. For him to return to her unharmed. Eventually, she walked away from the side of the mountain top and made her way to the tent where Edward was waiting for her.

He merely had to look at her to know - _she was no longer his._ Bella gave him a soft, sad smile. She would always care for him, but she no longer maintained the overwhelming need to be near him. He gave her the oversized jacket to keep her warm and alerted her when the battle began.

She waited.

And waited.

All of a sudden Seth's ears perked up; Edward stood in front of her to protect her from a coming threat. The first thing she saw as she peered over Edward's shoulder was the fiery-orange hair - _Victoria._

_She found them._

Before Bella could react, Edward began to fight Victoria; their hand to hand combat almost evenly matched. They moved faster than her mind could comprehend. Their abilities made them formidable opponents. Seth took down Riley, dragging him away so Bella would not see him destroy the vampire.

Edward was trapped; Victoria pinned him under her and grasped the sides of his head. Bella had to think quickly in order to save him. She found a sharp rock on the ground and sliced her arm. She knew the scent of her blood would distract Victoria long enough for Edward to regain the upper hand. Bella closed her eyes; she did not want to witness the violence in front of her. The crystal clear sound of cracking glass pierced her ears.

She felt a cold hand touch her arm and wrap itself around her wound. She screamed, her eyes shot open, terror filled her until she took notice of the golden orbs looking back at her - _Edward._ He tore off a piece of his shirt and tied it around her arm to stop her bleeding.

Seth came back a short while later; the sandy colored wolf whined and howled into the air. Bella's heart plummeted and twisted. _Something was wrong._

Edward avoided her gaze. He stared intently at Seth as he heard his thoughts. Bella felt a foreign ache, one that was not her own; she fell to her knees. Edward picked her up and ran in the direction Seth hurried off to. She asked him who was injured. Someone was hurt, she could feel it. Who was it? Edward shook his head 'no'. He did not want to be the one to tell her. He didn't want to be the one to destroy her.

She hit him. She yelled, she kicked, she screamed, she cried.

She knew. Deep down inside she knew…

They reached the small clearing in a matter of minutes. Bella jumped out of Edward's arms and ran toward the wolves. They were circled around a large figure splayed out on the grass.

_Jacob._

Leah and Paul moved out of her way; she slowly lowered herself to the ground next to her true love, her sun. His eyes were closed, his breathing labored, and she could see how badly his ribs were distorted.

"Carlisle! Help him! Please!" she yelled.

Carlisle stepped forward and put his hand on her shoulder, "I can't Bella. If they move him - his bones… Bella I'm sorry. He doesn't have much longer."

She slapped his hand away from her, "You're lying! Help him! Now damn it!"

Carlisle eased away from her. He understood she was not in her right mind at the moment. He knew the young Alpha had only minutes left. The stray newborn managed to crush his entire torso. His ribs were mangled, piercing organs, and causing him extreme pain. But the young Alpha would not go… not without having one more chance to see Bella. Carlisle watched the scene unfold in front of him. The rest of his family slinked away as well, it felt intrusive for them to be near the wolves while they were so utterly vulnerable.

"Jacob? Jacob! Please. You can't do this to me. You can't leave me." Bella screamed. She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to accept it. He could not leave her. He was her choice. She wanted to be with him. Why was he being taken away from her?

She felt him stir underneath her. She leaned back, giving him a small amount of space so he was able to move his arms. His eyes opened and she choked back a sob. Those deep, brown eyes that always seemed to look straight into her soul had little light left in them.

_He was leaving her._

A ghost of a smile played at his lips. His hand reached up, his fingertips caressed her cheek. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. "Bells... You're here."

The tears flowed freely. She nodded her head and traced the outline of his face. She wanted to cement to memory every single second with him.

He closed his eyes once again and took in a languid, rattled breath. He coughed, crimson stained his lips, "I wanted to take in your scent. One more time. Take it with me."

Her heart felt like it was being violently ripped from her chest. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be brave, and let him leave. She grabbed his hand and kissed his palm. "You can't leave me Jake. I won't let you go. You hear? We're going to get married, have as many kids as you want, and we're going to grow old together. So just stop. Don't talk like we aren't walking out of here together."

He wearily opened his eyes, they locked onto hers, and what happened next angered Bella at the wolf gods. She felt it. The pull, the completion of her soul, and the burn of his misery - _he imprinted on her._

Jacob remained in his trance, his gaze never leaving hers. "I knew it was you. It was always you, Bella. It will always be you."

An insurmountable amount of pain surged through her. Jacob gasped and groaned; more blood dripped from his mouth. She could barely understand Sam's far away voice, _"He doesn't have much longer."_

She shook her head and pressed her lips to Jacob's. They were already cooler. She kissed him over and over, attempting to give him some of her life. When she leaned over once more, he held her still and kissed her back. Her heart began to break as he poured every ounce of love and the last remnants of his strength into the kiss. _He was saying goodbye._

She didn't want it to end. She didn't want to pull away from him.

She ran her fingers through his silky black hair. She touched his skin, she held onto the warmth he had left. _Please don't take him away. Please don't take him away._

His hands slipped from her face and fell to his sides. She laid down next to him, wrapped her arms around his body, and breathed the woodsy masculine scent that reminded her of home. She closed herself off from everyone who surrounded them.

Jacob's heart stopped beating...

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><p><em>Thank you for reading and commenting. :)<em>

_I appreciate it so much. Next chapter up soon..._


	2. Taking the Alpha and The Volturi

"_Tears are the silent language of grief."_

_- Voltaire_

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><p><strong>Loving the Sun<strong>

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><p><strong>-Taking the Alpha &amp; The Volturi-<strong>

Sam needed to bring Jacob's body back to La Push. He would never abandon the rightful Alpha next to a pile of burning leeches. He turned to speak to Paul and a figure captured his attention - Leah was running back to the reservation with Seth chasing after her. Sam would not order her back; it would be to do so. She would carry this death with her for the rest of her life. His heart ached for his first love; he could not imagine what was going through her mind. They had all seen and heard Jacob's elation through the pack mind when he finally won the love of his life. His pack brothers were happy for him. Sam hoped at some point soon they would imprint, now that her mind and heart belonged to Jacob alone.

Bella's gut-wrenching sobs tore pieces away from Sam. He didn't know what happened to an imprint if her wolf was killed. The girl held onto Jacob as if her life depended on it. Jared walked over to him, fresh tears streamed down his face. "We have to leave. Billy needs to be told."

Sam nodded and stepped closer to Bella. "I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am... but we need to go. We have to take him home to Billy."

Her slow heart beat was the only sign of life that emanated from her. If it wasn't for his advanced hearing, Sam would have been certain she died as well. She did not move or loosen her hold on Jacob's rapidly cooling frame. He looked at the Cullen leader for help.

Carlisle eased carefully toward Bella so as to not startle her. He put his hand on her arm and pulled her back. She felt lifeless. Edward stretched his arm out to take her from him. That seemed to bring her back to the present.

She turned her head and when she saw Edward, she glared at him, "YOU!" she yelled.

She wiggled out of Carlisle's grip and stalked toward Edward, trying with all her might to push him. "You did this! It's because of you and your goddamn family that my Jacob is gone! Why didn't you leave me alone? I would have found my Jacob sooner..." - the amount of anger and resentment in her voice seared him from the inside out - "You're a parasite just like they said. You take life wherever you go and don't give a shit about the consequences... I hate you. All of you. Stay out of my life. Get the hell out of Forks."

Edward stood there, immobile, as she spoke. He knew all of her accusations were true; he was selfish, that was what came natural to him. It was the nature of his kind, of his family. After he caught a small glimpse of what she shared with Jacob, he knew in the end he would never have been enough. It further proved what he feared the most; his aura was what made Bella believe she loved him.

Alice broke. Her best friend's hatred toward her was too much. Jasper held his wife steady as he imposed wave after wave of calm into her. He was desperate to take her misery within himself.

Rosalie moved away from Emmett and put her arms around the grieving human girl.

Bella struggled against her; her face flushed as she screamed profanities, the never ending tears trickled from her eyes. Bella's body went stiff and then limped in Rosalie's arms.

Rosalie tried her best to soothe her; she sat on the grass with Bella in her lap and held her like she would a child. She murmured comforting words as she rocked her back and forth.

Carlisle did not know what to do. The Volturi would never leave Bella alone if she stayed human, and with the aftermath of the Newborn fight, his family would need to move once again.

He glanced over at Sam; the oldest member of the pack appeared to have aged right before him. Jacob Black's death wore on every single one of them. The Beta, Jared, picked up the young Alpha's body with the help of who he knew to be their Gamma, Paul. The rest of the wolves made their way toward the tree line in silence.

Sam stuck his hand out to shake Carlisle's. "We do not want your coven around this area. You have all caused her and the tribe much more damage than you could possibly know. The Cullen Coven is no longer welcome here or in the surrounding areas. Respect the memory of the life that was taken today. Respect the girl your family single-handedly tried to destroy."

If Carlisle still maintained the ability to cry, he would have. Everything the older Alpha said was the brutal truth. He should have done so many things differently, and now there was no going back. A precious life was lost; a young man who had many more years ahead of him died because of their unnatural existence. What burned him with acidic hatred toward himself was he knew how their kind affected humans. He knew their presence would trigger the Quileute bloodlines carrying the shifter gene to phase. Yet, he was weak. He listened to his mate, he caved to the beings he called his children. He was as much at fault as Edward, Alice, and Esme. He would forever carry this death and these ruined lives on his shoulders.

Esme wrapped her arms around Carlisle's waist. "We understand Samuel. I can't... I'm sorry. Please know, we are truly sorry. We will leave and never come back. I'll burn the house down myself if I have to." Her voice wavered, a dry sob escaped her. "No parent should have to bury their child. It's because of us that Billy Black will be forced to bury his only son. Please, tell him I'm sorry."

Sam shook his head at the female vampire, "No. I won't relay any messages to him. Apologizing will not bring his son back. It won't fix what you all began. The only comfort I will give him is the knowledge that you will never return."

He turned around and began to jog toward the forest. Bella looked up and took in her surroundings, she saw Sam leaving and scrambled off Rosalie's lap. She tripped and ran to him, "Sam! Stop! Please! I'm going with you."

Edward was next to Bella in the blink of an eye. He tried to help her stand; she shook her head and pushed away from him. He gave her space and cleared his throat. "Bella, I think it would be best if you stay away from La Push for a bit. You don't know if Billy is going to want to see anyone."

As Sam listened to the vampire, he struggled to push back his fury. "Bella is always welcome in La Push. She was the rightful Alpha's imprint and our Chief regards her as a daughter. Whatever she does or does not do is no longer your concern Cullen. Yours or your coven's for that matter."

Bella took the final steps away from Edward. Her eyes and voice held an intense hatred he did know she could possess, "Listen to my words leech. I do not want a damn thing from you or the rest of your family. Leave me alone. And before you ask, I don't give a shit about the Volturi. If they come for me then so be it. The love of my life is gone. I should never have gone to Italy to save you." - she took a deep breath before she continued - "If I see you again, I will burn you myself... Sam? Take me to Billy's. I'm done here."

Sam picked her up, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he jogged in the same direction as his pack.

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><p>The Cullen's did not move. Each one processed what happened. Rosalie stayed on the ground with Emmett by her side. Esme dry sobbed uncontrollably as Carlisle attempted to comfort her. Alice and Edward both seemed to be lost. Jasper did his best to calm everyone and think of a plan as far as where they would now go.<p>

Edward read Alice's mind as soon as she received her vision. He nodded at her when she glanced up at him. _It was a mutual agreement now._

Alice patted Jasper's leg and stood up. "The Volturi are coming. We have five minutes at the most. No one say anything. Let Edward and I do the talking. No matter what you hear, do not argue."

Carlisle and the rest of the family huddled close together.

It wasn't long before they detected the scents of Jane, Felix, Alec, and Demitri.

Jane greeted the Cullen's as she calculated the scene before her. The Cullen's appeared to have been through a grand fight; the large pyre of vampire limbs caught her attention.

"My you have all been busy little bees. Master Aro ordered us to exterminate the newborn problem, but I see you have taken care of it."

Carlisle showed nothing but respect to the child-like vampire as he addressed her, "We live close to Seattle; I thought it best to solve the issue before it drew the attention of humans."

Alec and Jane shared a knowing look. Alec spoke directly to Edward. "Where is your human?"

"She is no longer a part of my family. She was never intended to be my mate. I discovered this to be true and our engagement was broken."

Jane's laugh sent chills through Edward. "Humans are fickle creatures are they not? Master Aro will be disappointed. Demitri?"

Alice knew that was her cue, "Wait. We have a proposition for you."

Jane waved Demitri off, "Proposition? Stupidity does not become you. All propositions or compromises go through our Masters, as you well know… but I will entertain you Seer. What do you have that our Masters could want?"

"Isabella has lived with our secret for some time now. She will not betray us. I have seen it. If she is left alone to live out the rest of her human life, Edward and I will join the Volturi guard for the rest of our existence. If my mate, Jasper, chooses to join us, it will be his decision. He is an empath and therefore would be a valuable asset to the guard."

Jane was not anticipating this proposition.

Carlisle took advantage of the momentary silence and agreed with his children. "My mate and I will also join the guard. We know Isabella would never speak about our kind. We are willing to serve your Masters and guarantee if Isabella were to ever break our trust you may end us all."

Jane listened to them with great interest. She loved nothing more than to please her Masters. She was not idiotic in the least; the Seer and Mind-reader her Master coveted were offering hundreds of years of service. If she brought them back, along with the patriarch and the empath, her Master would be thoroughly pleased.

"Demitri. Make the proper calls and arrange a private flight for all of us back to Italy."

Demitri and Felix left in a blur.

Alec observed one of the Cullen's and narrowed his eyes at him, "You have not spoken or replied to the Seer. Am I to understand this to mean you are not joining them?"

Emmett glared back at the vampire boy. He knew Alec held powers; he had to tread with care and reign in his irritation. "My mate, Rosalie, and I do not have gifts. The gifted ones of our family are joining you. My mate and I will move away from the state of Washington and head East."

Esme began to dry sob anew. Alice saw that Emmett and Rosalie would not be going with them, so she said nothing. Jasper grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She gave him a soft smile.

Edward seemed to be in a daze. He would never again interfere in Bella's life. He would respect her wishes. He owed her as much.

Demitri and Felix returned; flight schedules were discussed as the plans finalized. Jane granted them a few hours to sort their affairs and pack any belongings from their home.

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><p>Esme called and paid an exuberant amount of money for the moving service company to come within an hour of them arriving at the house. All the furniture and anything of sentimental value was packed away and gone within two hours. She gave the movers the address of the Denali coven. Tanya, Irina, and Kate would store everything for as long as they needed. There was no time left to deal with their vehicles, so they were left in the garage.<p>

In half an hour they had to meet Jane for their flight.

Her family waited for her outside, far away from the house. The fumes of gasoline permeated the air inside. She memorized each room of her favorite home, then walked to the front door. Carlisle handed her a lighter and kissed the top of her head. Esme flicked it on and tossed it inside.

No one turned to witness the fire as it grew.

The run to Seattle took less than a five minutes.

They would never again set foot in the state of Washington.

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><p><em>Sorry for the minor delay tonight.<em>

_Next chapter will be up Monday._


	3. Missing What's Gone

_Side Note: The Cullen's joining the Volturi was very plausible in my opinion when talking about the canon Cullen family. Again, this story is AU/Non-Canon. I did write Alice to be slightly less selfish and self-absorbed. The point of their "sacrifice" was to give Aro what he wanted more than anything, vampires (more than one) with gifts._

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><p><strong>Do Not Own Twilight.<strong>

"_Let your tears come._

_Let them water your soul."_

_- Eileen Mayhew_

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><p><strong>Loving the Sun<strong>

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><p><strong>-Missing What's Gone-<strong>

The run back to the reservation seemed short.

Bella felt like her heart was in a vice. Her breathing became increasingly erratic. Sam stopped a few times to ask her if he could help her. His face was etched with worry and sadness. She shook her head and tightened her hold on him.

"I want to see Billy. Just keep going."

She felt him nod and continue.

In her mind, Bella was lost...

If she closed her eyes she could pretend it was a terrible nightmare. Jacob would be waiting for her, she would beg him to stay with her, she would insist on Edward being the one to go instead of him. _Why didn't she try harder and convince him to stay with her?_ The regret, guilt, and grief was more than she could bear.

Bella pushed Sam's arm to get his attention. "Stop... I can't..."

He let her down; she collapsed on the ground, and strained to inhale and exhale.

Sam knelt next to her. He put his hand on her shoulder, "Bella, you have to pull it together for just a little while."

She shook her head and forced the words out. "It hurts... so much."

He didn't know how to comfort her. It never crossed his mind that a situation like this would ever occur. Answers were needed and fast. "I promise I will talk to the council and see if there is anything in the legends or previous pack journals regarding what happens to an imprint when her wolf is... when he passes on. You are not alone in this. We're pack. A family. We support each other."

She wanted to be strong. She understood to a degree that she had to be. Billy lost his only son. She lost her best friend, the love of her life. So much loss. So much pain. She wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks.

Not now. _Later_. Later she would cry.

"Okay... Let's go."

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><p>Bella tried to keep her emotions at bay when the little red house came into view. Sam seemed to be in deep thought as he stared at the front door. Quil sat on the steps, his head in his hands, his large frame trembled violently as he wept. Bella gave his shoulder a light squeeze as she walked pass him to enter the Black home. Jared went outside to talk to Sam. She heard him explain where the rest of the pack was; Paul and Embry were searching for Leah and Seth.<p>

Inside, everything was different. None of the furniture had been moved, it looked the same, but yet it wasn't.

Jacob's natural scent lingered heavily in the dining area. _He loved the kitchen_. A small piece of wood captured Bella's attention. It had the beginning cut outs of a carving. She traced the outline of her wolf charm. He was making something new. She wondered what it would have turned out to be. He was so talented with his hands...

_Was._

The word made her stomach clench. He couldn't be talked about in the past tense. She didn't want to think of him that way. Her mind refused to process it as true.

A noise echoed through the house. _Billy's heart breaking cries_.

Bella followed the sounds of despair to Jacob's room. She knocked on the door then slowly opened it. Her own sorrow consumed her when she saw Billy bent over his son's body. The stoic man she considered a second father was shattered.

She left him alone to say his goodbyes.

Bella made her way to the worn-out couch and sat down. All she could think about was her Jacob. The precious moments she wasted, the times she ignored him and allowed herself to be dazzled by Edward and the Cullen's; when she hit him because he kissed her and tried to make her see what was right in front of her all along...

_Too much._

Jacob was gone. He was never coming back, and she refused to let go. A world where Jacob did not exist held no interest to her.

Her facade crumbled. Furious sobs tore through her.

She prayed to the wolf gods and to her God. _Please bring him back. There has to be a way._

The faint tug at her heart caused a tiny flicker of hope within her. Just as quickly as it appeared it was gone.

Bella didn't understand what was going on with her. Time no longer meant anything. It was as if it didn't exist.

She refused to go to Jacob's room and ruin Billy's moments with his son.

Instead, she went to the kitchen and began to prepare food. She could cook and clean for Billy. Jake would have wanted that; so she did. Her mind and body were not in sync. The movements were mechanical, _autopilot_.

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><p>Jared, Sam, Quil and Paul wearily walked into the house. Embry stayed behind with Leah and Seth. She didn't want to come back, and they could not find it in their hearts to ask her to.<p>

The first thing they saw were the large plates of food on the dining table. Each one sat and ate the meal. Every once in a while one of them would peek at the girl obsessively dusting and cleaning.

"Sam, we need to keep an eye on her," Jared cautioned.

Sam nodded in agreement.

Quil stared at the empty plate in front of him, "We can say Jake was in an accident. Charlie knew he rode a motorcycle. With his injuries it's believable."

Jared was the first to notice Bella stopped moving. He watched as her face paled and she clutched at her chest. She stumbled back; he ran across the room and caught her before she fell.

"Bella!"

Her eyes were wild. She appeared disoriented.

"Where... is he?" she gasped out.

"Who?"

"Jacob. I know he's here."

Jared looked up at his worried pack brothers, then back at the girl in his arms. "Bella do you remember what happened today?"

She clutched at him as she fought for air. Jared pulled her into a hug. He didn't know what else to do.

She pushed him and attempted to free herself. "I need him. Jared, please. He promised."

She wailed and cried and begged for them to find him for her.

Jared's eyes watered as he listened to her. He hugged her closer to him as the tears slid down his face. "Sam help."

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><p><em>Thank you for taking the time to read. This story is definitely different from my normal comfort zone. I hope you all stick with me. Please keep in mind the other genre as you read: tragedysupernatural._


	4. A Broken You

**Do Not Own Twilight.**

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><p>"<em>Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."<em>

_- From a headstone in Ireland_

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><p><strong>Loving the Sun<strong>

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><p><strong>-A Broken You-<strong>

Paul appeared next to Jared. "Give her to me."

Sam grabbed his arm and attempted to push him back to the other side of the living-room. He shrugged him off. Sam narrowed his eyes at him.

"Just fucking be careful with her, alright? She's broken, she doesn't need you to be an asshole to her."

Paul ignored his Alpha and picked her up. He carefully walked to where Billy was mourning and sat on the chair near the bed. He cradled Bella on his lap. She cast her eyes down and continued to weep. Sam hesitated briefly before approaching the Chief. He whispered his condolences and reminded Billy that they needed to call an ambulance and the council. They had a cover story for the public and the EMT's. Billy nodded and wheeled over to where Paul sat with Bella. He kissed her cheek and left to make the necessary phone calls.

Paul smoothed her hair back. "This isn't easy for any of us. You gotta find some strength in you."

She shook her head.

"I know you don't want to, but you need to. What happened was real."

Paul waited patiently until he felt her turn.

She scrambled off Paul and ran to the side of Jacob's bed. She touched his forehead and brushed the hair off his closed eyes.

_No heat._

It felt wrong for him to be cool. He was meant to be warm and full of life; he was her own personal sun.

"_He's_ _gone_." she whispered to herself.

Paul left her alone.

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><p>She didn't know or care how much time had gone by. It was dark. Red and blue lights flashed against the wall, through the window. Charlie tried to steer Bella away at some point. When his warmth pierced her skin something inside of her snapped.<p>

"Don't touch me!" Bella fought him off. "I need to be with him. Get off me!"

Charlie wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. His facade broke, the deep sadness he felt bled through him.

"I can't... leave him. Let me stay... _Please_." She flailed and struggled, tears streaked down her flushed face.

"Someone help-" his voice wavered.

Quil stood in front of him before he could blink and grabbed Bella in one swift movement. When he hugged her, all of her struggle ceased. "Bells, you gotta stop. They need to take him."

Every ounce of fight she had within her vanished as she looked at Quil's anguished features. Words failed her. Nothing could ever make this bearable.

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><p>In the living room, Paul and Jared each had a hand on Billy's shoulders. Steadying him. Lending him some of their strength. He heard what was happening with Bella. He mourned not only for his son, but also for her.<p>

Sam explained the imprint.

His mind was at war with his heart. Billy wanted to thank to the spirits his son experienced the love of his imprint before he passed; and his heart wanted to curse everyone around him who was alive. _Why did they live and the light of his life, his only son, have to die?_

Sam's quiet voice rang in his ears, "Paul, come help me. They can't fit the gurney in the house. We have to take him out to the ambulance."

It was as if every movement in front of him slowed. Billy heard and saw his surroundings; he was trapped in a daze. His throat closed and his heart ached.

Sam had Jacob's body wrapped in a white sheet, together, he and Paul carried his son, his pride and joy, through the house. The two large young men cried in silence as they held his child in their arms.

"Wait." Billy's whispered plea stopped them. "Thank you... for..."

Paul shook his head at the Chief, "He was our rightful Alpha; to carry him out is an honor."

Jared gripped Billy's shoulder, "They have to go."

Billy nodded in understanding. His son was loved by his pack brothers. He was loved by so many.

Billy's strength gave out. He succumbed to the grief.

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><p><em>-One Week Later-<em>

Bella barely slept anymore. Her days and nights were mostly spent in the Black house. She redecorated Rachel and Rebecca's old room; all their belongings were put in boxes, and Bella moved some of her things in.

Jacob loved his father. If there was something she knew how to do, it was taking care of people. Jacob would have wanted that.

She cooked healthy meals, cleaned the house, washed clothes, and made sure Billy took his medication. Words were scarce. Both lost in their own thoughts and memories. Bella could hear Billy's gut-wrenching cries late at night through the thin walls.

She in turn would go into Jake's room, grab a shirt from his dresser, and immerse herself in his scent. It tortured her, pained her incredibly so, but she needed his scent. It was slowly but surely fading from every part of the house except his bedroom.

People from the reservation came with food, cards, flowers, and words of comfort. Bella accepted them all on behalf of Billy. He never acknowledged another's presence unless it was a pack member, Charlie, or Bella. The television remained off since that fateful day. The noise seemed wrong without Jacob's laughter in the background.

Billy's daughters were arriving today. Rachel took a few days off school and Rebecca was coming in from Hawaii for the same amount of time as well. They were determined to only stay for the funeral. Billy glared at the phone when he called them to explain how Jacob died in a motorcycle accident. Bella didn't know what was said, but the look on his face was enough for her to comprehend the harsh underlying emotions within the Black family_._

Rachel and Rebecca escaped La Push as soon as they turned of age. Their mother's death proved to be too much for them. Rachel went to college in Pullman, Washington, and Rebecca met and fell in love while on vacation in Hawaii. La Push was nothing to them but a reminder of death.

When Bella heard the car pull up she went to the screen door to open it, and her heart stuttered. They both had bronze skin, they were tall and lean with long, straight black hair and the exact same dark eyes - they looked like Sarah Black. _Like Jacob._

* * *

><p>Rachel made a snide remark about Bella having changed her childhood bedroom. Billy, who had yet to speak, turned to look at her. His face reddened, his hands shook in fury.<p>

"Rachel Black you will not disrespect Bella in **my** house! She has done nothing but take care of me since your brother's death. She didn't abandon me, she didn't leave me to wither away and drown in my grief. You left! You and Becca left as soon as you could without a single glance back. This is the first time I've seen you in so long that I didn't even recognize who was standing outside. To come back and try to hurt one of the few people that has been here for me is inexcusable."

The twins were slack-jawed as they heard their father. Billy never lost his temper with them. He always seemed happy to hear from them anytime they remembered to call.

Billy's blood pressure rose, Bella handed him some cold water and his medication, then she went on a walk to give them space.

When the door quietly closed, Billy turned his attention back to the girls who were strangers to him now. "She is doing your duty. She is not my blood, but she has been more of a daughter to me than either of you. From the moment Sarah died all you two did was plot and plan to leave me and Jake." - he took a deep breath and allowed some of his anger to abate - "You are welcome to sleep on the couch and the air mattress. There is a motel in Forks if staying here does not meet your needs."

He wheeled his chair out of the living room and went to Jacob's room to be near his son's possessions.

Rachel and Rebecca left shortly after. They called from their motel room and left a message for their father with Bella; they would be back for the funeral.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you tamfan for helping my thought process where Paul &amp; Sam carried Jacob out of the house. A big hug for you honey.<em>


	5. I Grieve for You

**Do Not Own Twilight.**

* * *

><p><em>What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.<em>

_- Helen Keller_

* * *

><p><strong>Loving the Sun<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>- I Grieve for You -<strong>

Lilies. So beautiful. And yet they mean sympathy. Sweet smelling, white lilies in her hands. The casket was a rich brown color. It reminded Bella so much of Jacob's wolf. She longed to see both of them again.

She felt dead inside. Every once in awhile something would tug at her heart and the faint aroma of earth, musk, and rain would tease her senses; it was as if she was forgetting something but couldn't figure out what it was.

Not a single chair was empty. The entire reservation sat in front of Billy, waiting for him to begin the eulogy. He was dressed in all black, his long, salt and pepper hair flowed down his back, and his hands trembled. Paul refused to leave his side, once again holding onto his shoulder, willing some of his strength to go into the tribal Chief.

"My son... The day he was born was one of the happiest days of my life. He is - was a blessing. I loved him," he choked back a sob and reached up to grip Paul's hand. "A parent is not supposed to outlive their child. Yet here I am. I wish I could trade places with him. Jacob was the best part of me. And... _I can't do this._" He whispered and then looked up with watery eyes at the young man behind him. Words weren't needed; he understood and he helped the Chief back to the front row.

Billy's silent cries were carried away by the breeze.

Bella walked up to where they placed Jacob's picture beside the casket. He was leaning on the Rabbit, the smile that radiated from the photograph stabbed at her. _She missed him terribly._

"Jake could make anyone feel better by just looking at them. His happiness was contagious. His friends aren't the same without him. His dad misses him more as each day passes." - she traced the image of his face with her fingertips - "I love you."

No one knew how to proceed after Bella went back to her seat in between Paul and Billy. Sam, Emily, and the majority of the pack sat behind them. Leah still had not returned. Embry and Seth came back the day before. Leah fought Embry in wolf form, and he took it her hits. He tried to help with her guilt, but it wasn't enough. They relented and gave her time alone only after ensuring she wasn't a danger to herself.

People made their way to the casket, each laying down lilies and sending a prayer to the spirits. Just as Charlie and Sue placed flowers on the grass, Sue briefly looked up and her eyes widened in shock; she clutched Charlie's arm. "_Oh God._"

Leah had dirt all over her sports bra, leaves sticking out of her hair, mud smudges on her shorts; her beautiful face was marred with guilt and sadness. Sam let go of Emily and walked over to her just as she sprinted pass him and kneeled in front of Billy.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I hadn't - If Jake..." she couldn't finish. She reeled back and put her head in her hands. Her body trembled as the sobs she had held in ripped through her.

Bella sat on the ground beside Leah and put her arms around her. She rocked her back and forth ever so slightly. Whispering words of comfort.

* * *

><p>The rest of the funeral flew by.<p>

Embry picked up Leah and took her home. Rachel and Rebecca went back to their motel room after being polite to those in attendance and giving their father a brief hug. Seth stayed with Bella and Billy. Because he was focused on his sister and what she was going through, he had not yet grieved the loss of his friend.

The pack gathered down by the beach and started a bonfire. Stories involving Jacob were shared; some were funny, but most were simply happy memories. All too soon, the moon reflected against the calm ocean.

Everyone but Paul left. He sat next to Bella as she breathed in the salty air. He huffed out a breath, and she tilted her head to the side to look at him. "What's wrong Paul?"

He grabbed her hand and held it. "I imprinted."

Bella's heart clenched unbearably as her own imprint entered her mind. Her wolf. _Her Jacob_. The way his eyes shone one last time as he experienced their bond. A lump rose in her throat as she fought back tears.

_Later_. Right now, she needed to smile for her friend. She lightly squeezed his fingers. "That's great. I'm happy for you."

He frowned. "I'm not."

"What do you mean you're not? Isn't imprinting supposed to make you all - I don't know joyous?"

He stood and paced back and forth. "No, it's not. And I don't see how the fuck Rachel Black is meant to be my mate."

Bella slapped her hand over her mouth to stop the shocked gasp. _Rachel was his imprint?_

"I don't want her Bella. She left her father and her brother when they needed her the most. And then to add insult to injury, she rarely called to check on them. She came back for a few days, and is already itching to leave. Her brother is dead and she could care less about him! I don't want someone like that. A person that leaves when life gets hard. We may not have had it easy, but we're a pack, family, and you don't turn your fucking back on the people that give a shit about you."

Bella absorbed every word he said. In the midst of their loss, she gained a place within the pack. They truly felt like an extended family.

Paul stopped and dropped to his knees in front of her. She hugged him as he trembled, his tears staining her shirt. "I don't want someone like her."

She let him cry. She understood why he was upset. Rachel was the polar opposite of Paul. Where he valued the familial bond he shared with his pack brothers and loyalty, she did not.

Bella ran her fingers through his short, inky hair; it reminded her of so much of Jacob's. A sharp pain speared through her. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.

The smell of copper made Paul jerk his head away from Bella. He took in her twisted, agonized expression. Her lower lip had droplets of blood trickling down her chin. This wasn't a first for him; he'd seen her have several episodes similar to the one she was experiencing now. The pack worried about her. Old Quil and the rest of the Council watched her closely, each had taken an interest for the same reason. Bella was the only imprint to have lost her wolf, and she was still alive.

Her soft voice interrupted his train of thought. "You have to be whatever she wants, right? At least, that's how Jake explained it to me. You can be a friend, a protector, or - well, you know. So why can't you be a protector? Maybe even a friend?"

He wiped her chin with the sleeve of his shirt. "I don't know if it works that way."

"You won't know if you don't try. Either way, it's your life. I don't know Rachel. And honestly, after seeing her with Billy, I don't want to. I should feel bad saying that because she's Jake's sister, yet I can't bring myself to care very much. I'm not pretending to know what Fate was doing by making you imprint, but are you sure you don't want it?"

He didn't flinch or hesitate. "I don't."

Bella didn't know what else she could say to him. It wasn't her place anyway. Paul had a mind of his own and could make his own decisions. Her head began to hurt again. She needed rest. He walked with her back to Billy's house and mentioned that he would be at Jared's if either of them needed anything.

* * *

><p>The dreams began that night.<p>

_Jacob kissing her on the mountaintop, Bella realizing just how much she loved him, Jacob smiling at her, running his __fingers through her hair._

_He was here; he was alive._

"_I have to leave," he whispered._

"_No."_

_He smiled again... but she meant it. No. He couldn't leave her. Not again. She knew what was going to happen. "Jake please. Don't go. You'll die. Please, stay with me. Don't go."_

_He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "I won't be long. I promise."_

_She hugged him with all the strength she could muster and begged him to stay. "Don't leave me! I can't do it again Jake. Please!"_

_He kissed the top of her head. She gazed up at him, he put his hands on either side of face and softly kissed her lips. "That should have been our first kiss Bells." - their mouths met again and again - "I promise to kiss you every day for the rest of our lives."_

_She shook her head and openly sobbed. "You won't be able to keep that promise. Please stay with me Jake. Let Edward go. I need you with me."_

_It was as if he couldn't hear her. He unwrapped her arms from around his waist with minimal effort, kissed her forehead, and jogged toward the treeline._

_She remained frozen, rotted in her spot._

_He left. No, no, no, he wasn't going to die. Not again._

_She ran after him, tripping at every half step, screaming his name, her heart hammering in her chest. The forest seemed to thicken, the sky darkened, and she could hear something surrounding her._

_His voice echoed through the trees, "I love you Bells. I'm here. You just have to remember."_

_Her vision fogged, panic increased, she was sweating profusely. It was becoming difficult to breathe._

"_Don't leave Jake."_

_Shadows danced around her, Jacob's voice repeated the same words, begging her to remember._

_She covered her ears and screamed, "Jacob!"_

Bella shot off the bed. Her erratic pulse amplified her headache. His scent saturated the entire bedroom. He was here! She could feel him... was she going crazy? Was his loss finally claiming her sanity?

* * *

><p><em>Next Chapter Up Soon. Thanks for reading.<em>

The dream had parts of the actual scene in _Eclipse; _by Stephenie Meyer,_ (e-book, pdf format), pages 356-357._


	6. A Vision of You and Me

_**Side Note: **__Apologies for the delay. Also, for clarification to anyone that is new to the story: This fanfic is __**Non-Canon/AU.**_

**Do Not Own Twilight.**

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><p>"<em>Unrest of spirit is a mark of life."<em>

_- Karl Menninger_

* * *

><p><strong>- A Vision of You and Me -<strong>

* * *

><p><em>- One Month Later -<em>

The dreams continued. Every single night since the first. Some were the same, others were new, but they all revolved around a memory with Jacob. Almost as if he were pointing something out to her. Something long forgotten. No matter how hard she tried, she could not place it.

So she filled her day with cooking, taking care of Billy, and spending time with the pack members. If it weren't for Paul, Bella knew Billy would have deteriorated by now. Paul became a constant presence in the house. Especially when it came time to clean Jacob's room.

Neither Bella, Billy, nor Charlie had the strength to remove anything from the space that belonged to their loved one. He took it upon himself to clear it out for them.

The day after, when she sat on her mattress silently weeping, Paul came into her bedroom with a pile of shirts in his hand.

"Here Bells."

She picked one out of the stack and inhaled the faint, lingering scent of Jacob. She didn't hear Paul leave, and she didn't hear the door close; her entire focus was on the black material in her hands. She lay down and closed her eyes; willing herself to go to sleep so she could see Jacob again...

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

_When Bella's eyes fluttered open, she was sitting next to Jacob in front of a roaring bonfire. His low, throaty laugh made her tear up. He scoot closer to her and put his arm over her shoulder; his words came out in a breathy whisper, "Remember the histories we always thought were legends? That's why we're here honey, to listen to the stories of how we came to be. The histories of our people and the spirit warriors."_

_Bella snuggled into his warmth - she missed him so much. He held her closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around his waist; pressing her face to his shirt, taking in his wonderful scent._

_She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. Even though this was a memory, a dream, she wanted to share her feelings with him._

"_Jake, I need to-"_

_He pressed his finger against her lips, "Not now Bells. I know what you're going to say."_

_Bella frowned at him and shook her head. He smiled at her and pressed his lips against her temple, "You have to remember. For me. Please. You'll know where."_

_The atmosphere changed around the blazing heat of the fire. Paul and Embry sat up straighter; Jared pulled Kim closer and rubbed the side of her arm. Bella glanced over at Emily and Sam; she was holding a spiral-bound notebook and a pen, her attention focused on where the Elders sat together._

_Billy began telling the story in his rich, deep voice. The words poured out with precision, as if he carried them in his heart. A symphony of history soaked into Bella's very being. She understood what her next step was..._

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

The bright sun streamed in through the partially opened window. Bella rubbed the sleep from her eyes and with renewed energy prepared herself for the day ahead. His scent saturated the room. She breathed in heavy gulps of the precious aroma.

After lying in bed for a few more minutes, she resolved to talk to Billy. About her dreams, the vision she had on the mountaintop, and seek his guidance.

* * *

><p>The conversation did not go as planned.<p>

Billy was upset that she kept this information from him.

"Why didn't you tell me, Bella?" the sadness she heard hurt her more than she was expecting.

"I didn't want you to think I was crazy. I mean, hell Billy, I'm hearing him. I see him in my dreams. I smell him everywhere when I wake up. Does that sound remotely sane to you?" She fought back the urge to cry.

He gestured for her to come closer. Bella sat on the chair next to him, and he hugged her. She didn't hear what he was saying, all she knew was that for once, she was being comforted.

"I wouldn't have thought you were losing it, Bella. You have to understand that I believe when people have these kinds of dreams, or visions if you will, it is for a purpose. I don't know what that is yet. But this does concern my son, and I wish you had confided in me sooner." - his short, roughened laugh surprised her - "It seems Jake has not strayed away from your side, even in death."

He soothed her until she was calm. She knew if Billy had any idea on where to go from here, then maybe there was a way to interpret what was happening.

Billy asked Bella to go to the store for him. They were running low on groceries with Paul and Jared's constant presence in the house. He called Old Quil once he was alone and relayed all Bella told him. He believed them to be visions, and Jacob was guiding her. Old Quil suggested calling a council meeting soon. This would give him time to search through the older journals and writings in regards to the warriors from the past. There was also another important matter to attend to with the pack.

Paul was officially rejecting his imprint to Rachel Black.

* * *

><p>"This is an outrage! How dare you attempt to reject an imprint, boy! Do you know how blessed you are to have the opportunity to find your soul mate?" Elder Ateara's voice resounded throughout the small conference room.<p>

Bella sat on the far corner, a good distance from the pack members. Jared did not want her close to them. The threat of an accidental phase always loomed when one of them became infuriated. If there was one thing to be said, is that they learned from their mistakes, and they were not taking a chance with Bella.

The pack stood behind Paul as he faced the council. He answered calmer than anyone expected. "I can and I will, Elder Ateara."

The older man glared at the younger man in front of him. His ire rising at the audacity of his claim. He glanced at the Chief and pointed at Paul. "Does this not bother you in the least, Chief Black? The boy is renouncing his imprint to _your_ daughter. Do you have nothing to say to him?"

Chief Black remained silent as he contemplated why the young man stood before the Council of Elders. Then he motioned for Paul to stand in front of him.

"Why do you want to deny your imprint?"

"Because she is not worthy to be a wolf's imprint. Rachel Black abandoned her family, rightful Alpha Jacob Black's family. She left the day after her graduation, and refused to return to La Push. Her disregard for forcing so much responsibility on a child, her younger brother, speaks for itself. The manner with which she has treated you, her father, year after year, is disrespectful and disloyal. I refuse to accept that someone like her is supposed to be mine. I ask you, Chief Black, does that sound like the woman who is meant to be my soul mate? Do those actions speak of a worthy imprint?" Paul said with conviction.

"You know I cannot answer that. Only you can decide for yourself what path of life to choose... If this is what you wish, if you truly do not want this imprint, then do what you feel is right and just."

Paul nodded. He turned around and stared at his pack brothers and sister. "As a member of the Quileute wolf pack, I, Paul Lahote, reject my imprint to Rachel Black."

The instant relief on his face was palpable. The pack felt the aura of his imprint dissolve as soon as he spoke the words. Samuel Uley, dropped to his knees, the magnitude of what just happened weighed him down. Tears of guilt and sadness streamed down his cheeks.

His reaction startled every individual present. In an instant, his stoic mask returned. Bella had no idea what was going on. She stayed in her corner, nervously biting her nails.

Sam rose to his full height, his regret and anger radiated off him in waves. "Why was I never told we could reject an imprint?"

_Silence._

"ANSWER ME!" he roared. Jared placed his hand on his shoulder, a calming gesture that did not go over well.

"Get. Off. Me." Jared staggered under the command; he barely registered moving away from his Alpha.

"Why does it matter now, Uley? You didn't care about me or my feelings when you imprinted. In fact if I remember correctly, from your memories, one look was all it took you took and any thoughts of me and our future erased from your mind." Leah's brashness was slowly coming back to her. Bella was happy to see Leah coming back to her old self... _and for the other development__._

Sam looked at Leah, this was the first time he'd had the courage to since seeing her at the funeral. "You're still angry with me, Lee. Imprinting... It didn't change the fact that I loved you. I just... God, I hated hurting you."

Leah gave him a sad smile, "I'm not hurt anymore Sam... Okay, so it does sting a bit because of _how _you dealt with all the changes back then. But that was _your _choice. _You _chose to lie to me. _You _chose to lead me on. _You _chose to pursue Emily before breaking it off with me. It was all you. You acted like a selfish child instead of a grown man..." - she stopped herself from continuing and simply sighed in relief - "... and I forgive you. For all of it. I'm seeing things differently, Sam. Emily is good for you. She gave you what you needed. But Paul is not you. He does not want this for himself. You felt it, just like we all did. He's free."

Leah leaned in closer to the tall, muscular body beside her and grasped the large, tan hand. She looked up at the man next to her, the one who had been there for her through so much, and smiled lovingly at her mate, Embry. "We decide who is meant for us."

The deafening silence once again filled the air.

Bella rose from her seat and made her way to the front of the council members table. "Elder Ateara, Chief Black has talked to you about my question. I wanted to know if you discovered any sort of explanation, or even a hint of where I can go to find some answers."

"I apologize, Bella, but there was nothing I found that could explain the visions or why they are occurring with such consistency. However, do not be disheartened. Because where there is a will, there is a way. Chief Black searched through his own ancestors writings and found something he would like to share with you."

All of her attention came to rest on the man she loved as a second father.

"Please, have a seat Bella."

Bella shook her head 'no'. "I'm fine standing. Nervous you know, can't sit still."

"Very well... I will start with, you are not losing your mind. Jacob has not left you. He is guiding you as best he can. Unfortunately, I feel _what _he wants to share with you is something that you must discover on your own. I was frustrated with the minuscule information on dream-like visions. Then, as the night wore on, I came to understand that it is not my place. It is yours, as his imprint, and the love of his life."

Bella's chest ached as the sadness overwhelmed her. She missed Jacob more than anything. She came to live for those tiny pulls at her heart that felt like their imprint before Jacob died. It kept her grounded. It gave her hope. And to hear from Billy that Jacob was trying to show her, get her to figure it out, gave her even more hope.

Paul went to her side and put his arm around her shoulder. "Breathe Bella. It's okay. I'm here for you. We're all here for you. But you gotta let us in. Stop trying to carry so much on your own."

She nodded at him and slumped into the nearest chair. She glanced up at the Elders, "Thank you."

Chief Black smiled at her. A ghost of a smile reminiscent of the ones he used to shared prior to Jacob's death. Bella wished she could take his pain away.

The rest of the meeting passed without incident. Sam appeared to be lighter... almost as if seeing Leah and Embry together helped rid him of the guilt. Everyone else knew, except for him. Bella was glad Leah finally moved on from her first love. She deserved happiness, and Embry embodied what Leah needed. He kept her sane, nurtured her, and captured her heart. He reminded Bella so much of Jacob that it stole her breath away. The way he cherished Leah was truly a beautiful thing. She hoped imprinting would never be an issue for them. It wasn't for Paul anymore, and if Embry was even half as stubborn as Paul, Bella knew he would fight it as well.

* * *

><p><em>A few days later...<em>

Bella sat at the table, with a paper in front of her and a pen in her hand. Her head hurt. She could not piece the puzzle together. She was thoroughly frustrated and tired. Sleeping has not been easy. Even though she loved to see her Jacob, it was disheartening when she woke up and still did not know where to go. Piecing the hints together had been nearly impossible. So far, all she knew was it had something to do with the older tales and her visions.

A part of her began to wonder about the one she saw when they kissed. It was clearly a glimpse of their future; the small children running toward the forest caused her heart to skip a beat. She felt the recognition within her as the vision played itself out; the little boy and girl were her children, _their_ children. How could that future be possible if Jake was gone? Why would she have that vision of their life together if he was meant to die?

Jared walked through the door, disrupting her train of thought. He took one look at her and huffed in frustration. "You need some rest. Go on. Lay on the couch while I make some dinner for you and Billy. Y'all don't have to worry about feeding me tonight. Dinner at Kim's folks."

The little eye roll did not go unnoticed, but Bella learned a while back that sometimes it was best to let sleeping dogs lie... no pun intended.

"If I fall asleep, wake me before you leave. Okay?" She said as she tiredly shuffled toward the living room.

"Will do. Paul is coming by after work. Figured I'd let you know."

Jared was not quiet in the kitchen. He loudly clanged pots and pans, and hummed to himself as he cooked. It felt oddly comforting.

She lay back on the worn-out couch. Five minutes. Then she would clean up her mess and set the table...

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

_Bella's opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. She panicked when she realized she wasn't at Billy's... no, this was her room. She was back at Charlie's house. She looked at her clothes and then rummaged through the notes strewn across her desk - March 8, 2005._

_She remembers this date. Edward saved her from the drunken group of men on that empty street. The book she bought before that terrifying moment sat on top of her printer._

_The book... of course. She searched for it online first; it helped her figure out the Cullen's true nature. She grabbed it and traced the shape of the Native American symbol on the front. A sad smile played at her lips. Jacob never liked leaving her clueless; he always helped her piece things together._

"_I knew you could do it."_

_Startled, she jumped and nearly fell out of her chair. That baritone voice belonged to only one person._

"_Jake!"_

_She turned around and there he was; wearing only a pair of cut-offs, sitting on the side of the mattress, and the grin she loved on his face. She jumped onto his lap and wrapped her arms around him. His warmth seeped into her, his velvet chuckle sent tingles up her spine._

_His lips tickled her ear, "Come find me. You can do this. Help us get back to each other."_

_She nodded and held on tighter. The darkness already consuming the room, her warning that their time together was coming to an end once again..._

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

"Bella!" Jared's frantic voice woke her.

"What the-"

He let go of her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "Thank god. I was freaking out, you weren't waking up, and you kept saying Jake's name and..." - he carefully let her go, and stepped away from her, she noticed his eyes had misted over - "Don't scare me like that again. Dinner is ready. I'll see you later."

He left before she could ask him what was wrong.

Bella didn't let the confusion dwell. She replayed her dream and realized she was finally on the right track. She shot off the couch and ran to grab her keys and purse. Charlie wasn't there, but she still had a copy of the house key.

* * *

><p>Bella sped the entire way to Forks. She wasn't one to break the law, but she <em>needed <em>to get that book.

She unlocked the door and jogged upstairs to her room. It looked as if she'd never moved anything out. Charlie had cleaned her room and arranged the remaining items in the same way she would have done. It didn't occur to her until now that Charlie might miss her more than he let on. Her affection for Sue increased. She was the one keeping Charlie together now. Bella smiled a little at the realization.

Just as she bounded down to the front door, a bright orange sticky note caught her eye. She snatched it off the cabinet when she read her name scrawled onto the paper in her father's handwriting.

_Package for Bells. Take tomorrow._

She looked at the sender's information. Only a name and a country - _R. McCarty, Santiago, Chile. _The name wasn't familiar. She tucked the package under her arm. She would open it back at the house.

* * *

><p>Bella pulled into the Black driveway and stared at the garage. The last time she set foot in there was with Jake. She looked at the book on the seat and sighed. For some reason it felt as though she was supposed to read the book in a place that was once <em>theirs<em>, away from everyone else.

She hid the package underneath her seat, and held the book close to her chest as she climbed out of the truck. The light to the dining room illuminated the outside porch. Billy and Paul must have eaten by now. Hopefully they weren't sitting up worried about her. She had a feeling she was going to be up all night reading. Good thing she grabbed an apple from Charlie's before she left; that should tide her over until she ate some leftovers.

As she opened the door to the garage, all of her memories with Jacob hit her at once. She gripped the handle, and attempted to steady herself. As impossible as the task seemed, she managed to lock the door behind her, and gradually made her way to one of the battered chairs.

Her eyes stung with unshed tears. She bit her lip to hold back the impending misery. It wasn't time to cry. Crying can come later. Now she had something important to do. Jacob pointed her in the direction, and now she needed to find out where to go from here. After a deep breath, she opened the book and began to scan the various legends on the wolves.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter up as soon as it's finished. This story only has two or three more chapters before it's complete. Thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate it.<strong>

Notes:

The dream with bonfire had parts of _Eclipse, Chapter 11 - Legends, by Stephenie Meyer._

And her hold the book of legends was from _Twilight,_ the movie. In the actual book, _Twilight_, she did not go into the store to buy any books before the confrontation with the group of drunken men.


	7. Searching the World for You

_Side Note: Apologies for the extended wait._

_Previous Chapter..._

_As she opened the door to the garage, all of her memories with Jacob hit her at once. She gripped the handle, and attempted to steady herself. As impossible as the task seemed, she managed to lock the door behind her, and gradually made her way to one of the battered chairs._

_Her eyes stung with unshed tears. She bit her lip to hold back the impending misery. It wasn't time to cry. Crying can come later. Now she had something important to do. Jacob pointed her in the direction, and now she needed to find out where to go from here. After a deep breath, she opened the book and began to scan the various legends on the wolves._

* * *

><p><strong>Do Not Own Twilight.<strong>

"_What you seek is seeking you."_

_-Rumi_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 - Searching the World for You<strong>

* * *

><p>Bella's vision blurred and her stomach growled from lack of food.<p>

Five hours of meticulous reading and so far nothing. She heard Paul open the door to the garage, and close it after a few minutes. She needed to be alone. He knew without asking, and for that, she was grateful.

She was not sure how long it had been since Paul checked on her.

She became frustrated with the lack of information. She wished Jacob would appear and tell her whether or not she was close to solving how to reunite them.

A knock rattled the garage door. Bella popped her shoulders, and put the pen in between the pages of the book.

"Come in."

Jared walked in and glanced at the inside of the garage. He'd never been in here. Jacob didn't like anyone but Bella, Embry or Quil to watch him work. "Billy is resting. Paul had to go do his patrol, and I am to make sure you get fed, girl."

Bella smiled at him. Jared's eyes widened, "You smiled."

She touched her lips and repeated the act, "Yeah. I did."

He helped her gather her notes and they made their way to the house. Jared told her about his night and entertained her during dinner. She smiled and managed a giggle when he told her about Kim's father catching them kissing.

They cleaned up together and sat on the couch, still chatting away. Bella was so wrapped in listening to Jared the silence was deafening when he stopped.

"I'm glad you're smiling again. And talking a little more... What brought this change?"

"You'll call me crazy."

Jared surprised her by grabbing her hand and squeezing it. "You saw Jake again, didn't you?"

Bella's eyes watered. She nodded and furiously rubbed her face. "Why can't I talk about it without being so emotional?"

He put his arm around her shoulders, "Because he's not gone for you. We can't see him, only you can. For you, this isn't about death, it's about bringing your soulmate back."

She tried to fight it, to be stronger than she had been, but hearing Jared's reason hit home. It's why she couldn't grieve like a normal person. "Thanks, Jared."

He squeezed her once and stood up, "I'm going make some coffee and you're going to tell me about the book; we'll keep researching together."

Her sleepiness disappeared. As much as she craved to dream and see her Jacob, she needed help and Jared could help her.

* * *

><p>Two pots of coffee and another full meal later, Bella felt like she finally made some progress. Jared pointed out a few things she overlooked. Depending on the tribe, there were different rituals for bringing a spirit back.<p>

Bella yawned and stretched, exhaustion crept through her. She remembered the package.

"Hey, Jared?"

He moved like an elephant in the kitchen, clanking pots and pans together. "Yeah."

"What are you doing?"

"Making Billy's breakfast. We've been awake for awhile, girl." She bit her lip and tapped her fingers on the table.

"What is it, Bells. Don't think I don't know that face."

"I got a package at Charlie's yesterday. It's under the seat in the truck, can you bring it in?"

"No problem. Let me get this shit cooking first."

Billy chose that moment to wheel into the kitchen. "Boy, watch your mouth."

Jared rolled his eyes, "Yes, Sir."

Bella giggled again. Billy grinned and wheeled over to her side. "It's good to see you laugh."

Bella showed him her notebook, and told him about the dream she had about the book and Jacob. Billy offered to call Quil Senior and ask if there were any rituals concerning spirits. Neither noticed Jared leave to go to her truck.

Bella jotted some notes for Billy to ask him when the front door was ripped of its hinges.

A furious Jared and Paul stood in front of them. Both trembling, fighting back the phase.

Bella's heart raced; something was wrong.

"What-"

Paul's growl made her flinch. She realized her package was in his hand. She opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her. "Why does this have leech stink all over it Bella?!"

She was stunned. She had no idea why her package would have a vampire smell. "I don't know... Oh god. Charlie."

"Charlie is fine. This isn't a random vampires stench. This belongs to a Cullen. The blond bitch and her linebacker husband."

The ability to piece together sentences failed her. Rosalie and Emmett would never interfere on purpose. Is that why they used another surname? To trick Bella? Didn't she make herself clear when she parted ways with them?

An argument was happening around her; Paul was ready to talk to Sam about patrols and discuss their options if the Cullen's came back. Billy did not agree. He felt there was no need. Carlisle may have been a vampire, but he would not go back on his word. Jared paced the living room, commenting here and there.

Bella had a flash of clarity, pressed her fingers to her lips, and whistled.

The men silenced immediately.

"Before Paul here wages a war over a box, why don't I open it and see-"

Paul slammed it on the table and stormed out of the house.

Bella peeked at Jared. "Can you talk to him? He hasn't lost his temper in a while. I know he's worried, but unless there's something to fret about he doesn't need to switch to def con five."

The tension eased off Jared; he chuckled and shook his head. "He'll come back after running it off. He needs to let out some steam. The truck reeks by the way. It smells like you had Blondie and the Hulk rubbing themselves all over it."

When Jared left, Bella sat and stared at the offending object. _R. McCarty. Chile._

Billy cleared his throat. "I'm going to call Quil from the bedroom. Give you some privacy."

"No, you don't have to. I'm just... stumped as to what could be so pressing she had to send it to me."

"I know, sweetheart. I think you should do this without anyone around so you aren't pressured into feeling anything. Take your time and if you want to tell me, you can."

He wheeled himself out of the kitchen.

Bella's adrenaline rush from Paul and Jared's reaction wore off. No matter how much she wished she could lay down and take a nap, she knew she had to be brave.

* * *

><p>Paul eventually made his way back to the Black house. He was worried. About Bella, the vampires contacting her again after she asked them not to, and how she spent every waking minute searching for a sign of some sort.<p>

He leaned against the porch, staring at the beaten front door. He didn't remember doing that. When he smelled the blond tick and her husband, for lack of a better description, he lost his shit.

Thinking about the events of the day had him balling his fists in anger at the leeches... He needed to be calm to talk to Bella. Billy taught him techniques to channel and control his anger. He breathed deep and focused on the good things in his life.

The pack.

Billy.

And Bella - his best friend.

Once he was sure he was in control, he pushed the door open and walked into the kitchen area. The contents of the box splayed out on the dining table. Bella's arms crossed over her chest, steadily glaring at the new cell phone, a dozen cards, and a hefty envelope.

"Are all vampires this annoying? I know you weren't there, but I told them I wanted nothing more to do with them. How much clearer could I have been?"

Paul rubbed his hands over his face. Frustrated didn't begin to describe how he felt. "I'm going to regret asking, but what is all this?"

"A cell phone, gas cards, a sealed envelope, and a letter."

"Did you read the letter?"

She huffed in irritation. "No. I was... couldn't. This is stupid! I didn't want to do it alone."

Paul took a minute to take in her appearance. She was... _scared_. "What's wrong?"

Bella's entire presence changed into one of nervous, anxious energy. "What am I going to do if its bad news? If something's going to happen to Billy, or Charlie, or anyone else I care about? Why now? I can't handle losing anyone else."

He rushed over to her side and hugged her. She struggled to breathe, panicking at the thought of another person dying.

"Bella, stop. Breathe. It's okay. No matter what that letter says, it will be okay." He rubbed her back and reassured her.

.

.

.

"Do you want me to read it out loud?"

Bella looked over at Paul, the letter she refused to read in his hands. She sighed, "Yeah. Might as well. Right?"

He unfolded the paper, skimmed the words, and scrunched up his nose. "This smells worse than the fucking box... Alright, here goes..."

* * *

><p><em>Rosalie sat back in her chair and gazed at the painting on her wall. It was her most vivid and most cherished human memory. One forever seared into her mind. It was her, blue-violet eyes gazing in awe and wonder at baby Henry, her friend Vera's son. <em>

_Only Emmett knew of her passion to paint. He knew the sadness within her over losing so much all those years ago. There were days she daydreamed about meeting Emmett as a human. Would their lives have been different if she had met him first? She saved him only two years after her change. _

_She cleared her thoughts of those painful "What if's", and began to write a letter to the human girl she envied almost as much as she envied Vera..._

_Bella, _

_I hope this letter finds you well. I realize you requested to never hear from us again, and I respected your wishes. The contents of the package and the explanation in this letter are courtesy of Alice. We both know she meddles regardless of what people tell her. In her words, she asked I tell you she did not intentionally "see into" your future. A vision came upon her and she wanted to help in your endeavor. You may loathe us for your love being deceased, but we hold no ill will toward you. Alice relayed you would soon be taking a journey. You would need funds and a way to communicate with your family. I attempted to talk her out of interfering, but she assured me she would find another avenue of helping you if I did not assist her. I'd rather be the one to see you are still safe and living out your life. Use it all Bella. Alice forced the vision to discontinue. She did not want to intrude more than she has. I programmed my number in the new phone, should you need anything in the foreseeable future. Good luck. _

_Rosalie_

* * *

><p>Paul left after reading the letter. Bella asked him to; she needed some time alone. He did not press her for answers. He knew she would talk to him when she was ready.<p>

.

.

.

Billy had a council meeting to go to. He left shortly after asking her to order pizza for dinner. One day of indulging would be okay, or so he reasoned. Bella compromised with ordering veggie burgers from a diner near the res and Forks border.

While she waited, she skimmed through the notes she made about her last dream with Jacob. One of her scribblings caught her attention...

The first legend told that night was the one of Kaheleha. _"Kaheleha was not the first spirit warrior, but we do not remember the stories that came before his. We do not remember who was the first to discover this power..." _Their spirits would leave their bodies, but they needed a vessel to come back to. She opened the book once again, and turned to a legend she felt a connection to. One from another tribe...

_There are times when one must journey through the spirit realm. The soul is a powerful entity. Our people understand the imperative of seeking the other half of the soul. _

_The tale of Amitola and Ohitekah is one known to many in our tribe. Ohitekah gathered some young warriors for a hunt; he hoped the newer generation would flourish into strong, noble fighters. Ohitekah broke from the group, following a stream to the northern side of the mountains. As he speared the bountiful fish in the water, a woman timidly approached the leader. Ohitekah described seeing a colorful aura surrounding them both, the strings of his heart interweaving the woman to his very soul. Her smile soothed his worries of never finding a mate, for he knew it was her. _

_Amitola radiated life and purity. Ohitekah spoke to the goddess, sharing the most intimate thoughts with her. Amitola cared for him with words and soft caresses to his hands. As the sun disappeared from the sky, Ohitekah begged her to come back to his home, to stay with him until the end of her days. Then destiny took a turn. Nashoba, one of the young warriors, shot an arrow through a herd of deer, near Amitola. Ohitekah's pushed his beloved out of harms way, the arrow pierced his heart. _

_The events surrounding what took place after Ohitekah's death are unknown. _

_Kinan, Ohitekah's father, shared his memories... _

_Amitola, Nashoba, and the group of young warriors carried Ohitekah's body to the village. Nashoba embraced the older man after Ohitekah was taken to the cottage where the fallen were cared for before their spirit returned to the ancestors. Kinan looked to the young man and he felt faint at the sight. The flesh was of Nashoba, but the eyes belonged to Ohitekah. He glanced at the woman holding Nashoba's hand, she smiled sadly. Kinan spoke with the youth and confirmed Ohitekah lived within him._

_He did not question the gods or fate. Destiny finds a way even in the most tragic of circumstances._

_Four winters later, Amitola gave birth to Kinan's first grandson. He was the mirror image of Ohitekah. Nashoba proudly held his heir, Itan, in his arms and carried him through the village to see the Elders. Kinan blessed the couple and prayed over his grandson. _

_Amitola and Nashoba lived a long, fruitful life. Nashoba fathered five sons and two daughters. After Kinan's spirit returned to their ancestors, Nashoba carried on the tale of Ohitekah and the great lengths a soul can journey to remain with the one they love. _

.

.

.

Bella called the council building and spoke to Billy. Tomorrow night, after the bonfire get-together Emily arranged, she would tell the pack. Tonight, she was going to talk to Charlie. Billy understood. Charlie was another matter...

* * *

><p>"Have you lost your mind, Bella?"<p>

Charlie was never one to beat around the bush. Why she thought she could give him the bare minimum was idiotic.

"You know how much I hate pulling the 'adult card', Dad, but I will if I have to."

He rubbed his temples, his skin slightly reddened. Bella knew the expression - _he was angry_.

"I know you are legally an adult. However, that doesn't mean I don't worry. You are still grieving over Jake's death. I get it, we are all still hurting, and a cross country road trip isn't going to fix it."

She crossed the room and hugged him, catching him off guard. "I need to do this. I know you don't understand, and I wish I could explain it. One day, maybe I can. For now, trust me. Easier said than done, I know. You will worry, you're my dad, you'll always worry."

Charlie wrapped his arms around his daughter and muttered in resignation, "You damn right I worry... there's no way I can talk you out of this? I could take away the truck keys."

Bella smiled up at him, "You could, but I'd find a different mode of transportation."

As much as it pained him, deep down inside a little voice told him to trust her. "Alright. Give me an hour and I'll stop at Billy's before dinner at Sue's."

"Where are you going for an hour?"

Charlie squeezed her one more time, then went to grab his keys off the counter. "You honestly don't think I'm gonna let my baby girl leave without protection, do you? I'm getting you some mace. Enough to last a whole year if need be."

Bella's laugh was thick with emotion. "Okay. See you soon, Dad."

Now all she had left was to talk to the pack. That would prove to be the biggest challenge of them all.

* * *

><p>The small portion concerning Kaheleha was from <em>Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer, Chapter 11 - Legends.<em>

The legend of Ohitekah and Amitola is by me.

Working on Ch. 8.

Thank you for taking the time to read.


	8. Nobody Said This Was Easy

"_It takes a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye."_

_-Anyrag Gupta_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 - Nobody Said This Was Easy...<strong>

* * *

><p>The heat from the bonfire felt amazing to Bella. It reminded her of Jacob. His warmth, his grin, his personality... it all shone from him like the sun. She just shared her news of leaving with the pack. No one spoke, they all seemed to be absorbing the information.<p>

Leah glared at Paul from across the fire. "Aren't you going to talk her out of this?"

He raised his eyebrow at her. "You think I can say shit to her about anything?"

She rolled her eyes, "If anyone can do it, you can. Don't you have feelings for her?"

Paul's incredulous laugh made Bella smile. No one understood their bond. They knew this. It may seem borderline romantic to those around them, and she could see why they had their assumptions. Paul isn't a blushing virgin with noble intentions toward most women.

"No, Lee. Bella and I are friends. She's my best friend. I do love her, but not like that. Come the fuck on, that would be like spitting in Jake's face."

Sam remained silent. Embry and Quil knew better than to try and reason with Bella. She was on a mission. Truth be told, they hoped with every fiber of their being that she would somehow succeed in bringing Jake back.

Kim and Emily poked at the burning logs. Neither sure of what to say. Their imprints were alive and well. If something happened to Sam or Jared they did not know what they would do. Kim loved Jared before he knew her. Emily fell in love with Sam after their imprint. Bella and Jacob had history, they grew to love one another and shared something special.

Jared stared at Paul, steadily glaring at his friend. "How can you go along with letting her go? Alone. Across country. For who knows how long."

Paul had about enough of everyone calling him out as though he had any say in Bella's actions or reactions. He was not her keeper. "Fuck you, Cameron. She isn't a kid. She talked to the Chief, _both Chiefs_, and they don't have an issue with her leaving. Do I want her to go alone? No. Is it up to me? No. Why don't you ask her what this is about before coming at me like I've done something fucked up."

Jared shot out of his seat and cussed up a storm as he jogged toward the treeline. Bella peeked over at Sam. "He needs a minute."

Leah eased away from Embry and over to Bella. "You're... important... to me. To us. I don't think... I can't do it. I can't say bye to someone else." The tears she attempted to keep at bay slid down her cheeks.

Bella hugged her friend, "This isn't bye, Lee-lee. This is more like 'see you later'."

Leah held her tighter; wishing with all her might that the gods would protect Bella wherever she traveled. "Promise me you'll call. Every single day. No matter the time."

Bella choked back a sob. "I promise."

* * *

><p>Bella zipped her last bag and sighed in relief. The bonfire was five days ago. Jared had yet to speak to her. Sam and the rest of the pack said their 'see you later'... she refused to say 'goodbye'. She spoke to Quil's mother, Joy, and asked her to keep an eye on Billy when Paul or Jared weren't around.<p>

After she counted the insane amount of funds Alice had Rosalie send her, she came up with a plan. She set aside piles of the money, one for each pack member, and mailed it to them that morning. They would not receive the envelopes until she was gone, so there was no way for them to return it. She still had a hefty amount with her, and all the cards, plus the phone. As angry as she was in the beginning when she opened Rosalie's package, now she was only thankful. It was not much, but she'd been able to help those she cared for.

Someone knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in."

A very disheveled looking Jared stepped into her room and sat on the edge of her mattress. "Have you slept any?"

He shook his head 'no'. She tossed the duffle bag at Jared. "Bring it to the truck."

A few minutes later, he still had not said a word. She planned on leaving soon in order to make it to Idaho, specifically Coeur d'Alene. He was a dear friend, and she hoped he could make peace with her decision.

"What if it were Kim?"

He glanced up at her then. "Huh?"

"What if you lost Kim before you got a chance to live out a life with her? What if Kim was ripped away from you because of something you brought upon her? What if you could bring her back? I'm asking you these questions because its those that I live with everyday. I have a chance Jare, I real chance. I believe I can bring him home, to me. Have faith in me."

He pulled her close and hugged her. His body trembled as he held in his emotions. "I do have faith. You can't blame me for being worried. Whether you realize it or not, you've become an integral part of this pack, of our family."

Bella lightly pushed him away, "I read in one of the books that family is never apart. As long as you carry that person in your heart, they are with you always. I have you all in my heart... but I need to do this. I can feel it in my bones. I'm on the right track. Can you at least understand?"

Jared gave her a watery smile. "I get it, Bells."

She twisted the watch on her wrist and saw the time. "Paul was supposed to meet me. I really have to go. It's eight hours from here to Idaho. Tell him... tell him I'll miss him. Keep an eye on Billy. I left him enough meals for two weeks. Joy plans on coming by when you two are working..."

He held up his hand to stop her, "I got it. Don't worry about Paul or Billy. They'll be okay."

Bella squeezed him affectionately once more and climbed into her truck. She did a quick inventory check -_ journals, book, map, purse, phone_ - and waved at Jared.

She stole glances at the little red house she knew as 'home' just before the La Push Road sign came into view. She furiously wiped away the silent tears. Her heart ached at leaving her family and friends, but she would not be deterred. Soon, she would be in Idaho, and that much closer to the Adsila Reservation in Montana. Her first stop in her journey...

* * *

><p><em>Side Note: And so it begins... Unbeta'd chapter. I needed to get this out. Next, we will see how Bella fares in her quest. <em>

_*Adsila Reservation is not a real reservation. In case anyone was wondering. I've taken many creative liberties with this fic. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the next one will be out sooner. _


	9. Hardships and Revelations

**Disclaimer for the next/last chapters: **_**I do not own Twilight. This includes names, places from the books and/or movies, and all things Twilight related are not mine. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Warning (for my own peace of mind): <strong>_If anyone is offended, advanced apologies. I'd rather be cautious and add a warning rather than catch flames after. I have taken many creative liberties with this story. Please don't try and Google the name of these reservations/people as they are part of my imagination and not real. Some cities and/or roads are real. _

* * *

><p><em>Previously on Loving the Sun...<em>

_Bella lightly pushed him away, "I read in one of the books that family is never apart. As long as you carry that person in your heart, they are with you always. I have you all in my heart... but I need to do this. I can feel it in my bones. I'm on the right track. Can you at least understand?"_

_Jared gave her a watery smile. "I get it, Bells."_

_She twisted the watch on her wrist and saw the time. "Paul was supposed to meet me. I really have to go. It's eight hours from here to Idaho. Tell him... tell him I'll miss him. Keep an eye on Billy. I left him enough meals for two weeks. Joy plans on coming by when you two are working..."_

_He held up his hand to stop her, "I got it. Don't worry about Paul or Billy. They'll be okay."_

_Bella squeezed him affectionately once more and climbed into her truck. She did a quick inventory check - journals, book, map, purse, phone - and waved at Jared._

_She stole glances at the little red house she knew as 'home' just before the La Push Road sign came into view. She furiously wiped away the silent tears. Her heart ached at leaving her family and friends, but she would not be deterred. Soon, she would be in Idaho, and that much closer to the Adsila Reservation in Montana. Her first stop in her journey..._

* * *

><p>"<em>And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat..."<em>

_-Florence Welch_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9 - Hardships &amp; Revelations<strong>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>June 7th<strong>_

_What do you do when the one you love is lingering in limbo? How can you save them, bring them home to you, when __secrets and loyalties bind you__?_

These are questions Bella has been asking herself since she left the Adsila Res.

She tried to persuade the Council to give her the benefit of the doubt. That she was trustworthy, without giving away too much on what she knew of the supernatural world. The Chief had been unwelcoming from the moment she walked through the doors of the building. His Council members were just as leery and stand-offish.

The Chief allowed her the chance to state her case and explain why she visited their tribe specifically. As soon as she reached the part about legends being more than "merely fables" the Council member on his right, a woman, stood and yelled at her in their native language. Three other members joined her in berating Bella, while the Chief paled at the outlandish scene.

Bella thought back on the audience she received at the Adsila Council.

...

_"Silence!" Chief Shaw commanded. His Council did not open their mouths again. He glared at the young girl, collecting his thoughts before speaking. _

_Bella tried to explain, __"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any of you grief. I just - I need help. If you know anything-" _

_The Chief raised his hand__, dismissing her chatter__. "I understand your __desire__ for information. I can neither confirm nor deny any knowledge of what you seek in our archives. Outsiders are not allowed to sift through our __ancestral__ documents."_

_"Please," Bella begged, "if you can just tell me where I should go next... anything..." she __swallowed back the lump in her throat__. _

_The woman next to Chief Shaw stared at the girl, appraising her aura__'__s vibrant colors. She leaned in__ toward their leader, whispering to him__. He nodded, __turning his attention back to Bella._

_"__Hania __Reservation. Tell their __Council__ leader, Chief __White, that Kuruk __gave his blessing for you to read __the__ legend. He will know of what I speak of." _

...

The Bella glanced at the GPS, estimating how much longer she had until she reached the motel to catch up on some rest. Tomorrow, she would call Charlie and Billy to update them on her well being - just as she promised.

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>June 21st<strong>_

_Outskirts of Hania Reservation, Utah _

Bella dropped the letter to Billy in the mailbox, zipped up her jacket, and made her way back to the diner across the street. The marker was added to the map, and she felt a sense of accomplishment.

_Soon, Jake. I promise._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Billy,<em>

_I know I haven't been in touch. I'm sorry. Things haven't been easy out here. Although I have met some interesting people, gathering information has been like finding a needle in a haystack. _

_I discovered a legend I thought you be interested in. It's given me hope. I have to admit, there is this foreboding feeling that has lingered since coming to this place. I can't explain it, but it's as though I'm on a time limit. _

_You can't respond to my letters. I will call you soon to hear any thoughts you might have on the small details of the legend of Chogan and Ilyanne._

_She was like me, a pale face, and she met Chogan by chance. Or perhaps it was fate... I'd like to think it was meant to be. Chogan wasn't supposed to be fishing on the settlers side of the river, and somehow he wandered there, to the exact place where Ilyanne sat by the bank. She found him to be beautiful - dark skinned and so different from the men she was accustomed to. Chogan knew the rules of his tribe, to stay away from the outsiders; however, he simply could not comply... He felt a pull to Ilyanne, his soul called out for her, determined to weave them together forever. _

_Months passed, and their bond grew in secret. Ilyanne's father, Christoph, observed the change in his daughter. He followed her one night and saw them together. Chogan defended Ilyanne, vowing to care for her for the rest of his days. Ilyanne's father went into a rage at the idea of his only daughter marrying a native man. He pulled out his dagger and shoved it into Chogan's heart. _

_Christoph gathered his family, forcing them to abandon their home. He knew retribution was coming from the tribe. Chogan was, after all, the son of the Chief. Ilyanne went along with them. Back then, it was different, she had no choice. _

_Late at night, Chogan would visit her in her dreams. Promising that their time together was not over, they would find each other once again. Ilyanne lived for the dreams, and kept up appearances with her family... then he appeared... but, it wasn't the Chogan she remembered. He was different. She went to him, and together, hand in hand, they disappeared._

_How was he different? That is the question you might be asking yourself. The tale did not specify. I wish it had. Fate is a wondrous, albeit difficult thing. Faith is what keeps me going. The belief that he is not gone, that Fate would not be so cruel as to steal him from me before we could realize our future..._

_I miss you and Dad. Take care of yourself, please. Tell Paul and Jared that I miss them too. Give everyone a hug from me. Speak to you soon._

_- Bella_

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>July 17th<strong>_

_Migisi__ Reservation__, Nebraska_

The _dirt _road leading to the small reservation was not a dirt road at all. According to the attendant of the gas station - the last one she'd seen in over an hour - the trail would be clear. This trail, as he called it, appeared barely used and was mostly grass covered.

She was lost... it was late, and she was lost in a strange place.

Bella turned off the truck, and slapped the wheel, screaming in frustration. The signal on her phone flickered off and on at one measly bar, she had less than half a tank of fuel, and she was utterly exhausted.

Just as she succumbed to sleep deprivation, a loud knock on her window startled her. A very tall man stood outside her truck, flashing a light in her face. "Ma'am, do you need help?"

Bella squinted her eyes to get a good look at him. The half moon in the sky lit the side of his face, displaying his features... he couldn't have been more than thirty, long hair, and bronze skin. "I'm looking for Migisi Reservation. I was told to follow Kozen Lane, but I think I took a wrong turn." She covertly made sure her door was still locked. Her mother didn't raise a fool, and Charlie Swan would flip his lid if he found out she was being _too trusting_... again.

The man smiled at her and pointed the light to the clearing ahead of her, "That way, give or take a mile. Don't stop the truck until you reach the willow tree with the red _X _on it."

Bizarre... suspicious... This felt familiar in an odd way. "Why can't I stop the truck? And why do you have a tree with a marker?"

He stepped back from the vehicle and pointed again with his flashlight, "Go on now, ma'am. It's late, and you look like you could use some rest. The motel is five miles passed the willow tree."

Just as quickly as he appeared, he was gone, leaving kicked up earth in his wake. She thought of Jacob and all the times he would materialize when she needed him. She felt a tug in her heart. Taking it as a positive sign, the engine roared to life and she carefully rode down the clearing in search of the tree with the red _X_.

* * *

><p>There was a definite vibe to this place... something simmering underneath the faces of these people.<p>

The Council refused to see her. Members of the village ignored her when she walked by them. Every once in awhile, she would see a man or a woman and the hair on the back of her neck would stand. Being around the supernatural as much as she had been, she took this to mean there was a reason why she was here. In her eyes, the ones she chose to visit and was told to go to, held a purpose. Nothing was coincidence.

Too many things had happened in her life that were not merely by chance.

She bumped into a large mass of a human being and caught herself before she fell. "I am so sorry!"

A manly chuckle answered, "You again. Still here?"

She glanced up and saw the same man that pointed her to the res. A tingling feeling crept up her spine. She did not know what to make of it... _was it a warning?_ "Yes, and no one will talk to me. Is there a rule or something I'm not aware of?"

You would have thought she was a comedian with how often he laughed at her. Her temper flared momentarily, "Thank you for your help." She turned on her heel and walked away from him.

Angry tears streaked down her cheeks. Never, even when she was a _vampire girl_, had she felt as unwelcome in a place. She packed her duffle bag and left the room key with the front desk. The receptionist ignored her.

Bella tossed the bag on the passenger seat and slammed the door closed. This entire trip here was a disappointment. She was belittled, rejected, and stared at with ridiculing eyes.

"Hey! Girl! Wait a second!"

She was not surprised to see that strange man running toward her. "Look, its fine. I'm leaving," she replied and reached for the handle. He stood in her way, blocking her attempted escape.

"I know you're looking for information about soul mates. I can help."

She stared at him incredulously, "Is this some kind of joke? If it is, I can assure you that I am not amused, Sir."

He smirked at her, "Listen little spitfire, I'll admit I shouldn't have laughed at you; but, you can't go around an unknown res asking to willingly give you - _an outsider_ - free access to the archives of our people."

Bella tossed his words around in her head, and realized she had gone about this in a very nonchalant way. She knew there would be obstacles, challenges, and it would not be as simple as filling out forms. She had hoped it would make her appear trustworthy if she was obscure. Apparently, it was causing misconceptions to be made about her sudden visits in these villages.

The man continued speaking, "If you follow me, I'll take you to the Chief."

She contemplated it for a beat... "Allright. Is it okay if I meet you somewhere? I'm going to pay for another night and put my things away."

He checked his watch and nodded, "Sounds good. I'll meet you at the Community Center. The Chief's house isn't far from there."

"Wait!" She hollered after him. He turned and tilted his head to the side in an unexpected, familiar gesture. She blinked a few times, confused by the sense of déjà vu. "I don't even know your name."

He beamed at her, "Jackson."

She nodded, not returning the friendly grin, "Nice to meet you. I'm Bella."

* * *

><p>The small, brown house lay hidden within the forestry surrounding incredible portions of the reservation. During her trek, she noticed a large section of the houses seemed to be an extension of the nature that shrouded them. Only one word came to Bella, stirring her inquisitiveness – <em>camouflage<em>.

The Chief was nothing like what Bella pictured. This was certainly a first for her, shaking hands with a _female _Chief. She was in awe at the respect the older woman commanded by her demeanor and the way she addressed Jackson. So lost was she that she barely noticed the outstretched, tanned hand graciously leading her into the home.

Bella became flustered, "So wonderful to meet you, Chief Reed. My name is Bella, and I'm from Washington, specifically the La Push Reservation."

The older woman shared a mystifying flash with the other man, and returned the sentiment, "Nice to meet you as well, dear. Just call me Tracy. No need for formalities. Jackson, you know where you should be and with whom. If I get another phone call, you and I will be having words, boy."

He mock saluted her, "Got it, ma'am." Then smirked at Bella, "See you around, little spitfire."

Tracy lead Bella to the living room, and soon enough the two were in a deep conversation about _why _Bella needed the requested information.

* * *

><p>Hours later, she left the Chief's house emotionally drained.<p>

She found a kindred spirit in Tracy. The wise beyond her years - many more years than she would have guessed - woman once fell in love with a _stregoi_. She was young, foolish, and drawn to the red-eyed Saint, covered in silver bite marks, who rode an onyx horse along their border. She was the newest in the den, therefore assigned to the late task of security. Bella asked what she meant by den and security. Tracy smiled, replying, _"There are more creatures, far fiercer than a stregoi, that go bump in the night."_

Their attraction was forbidden. Natural enemies, complete opposites... they should have wanted to hate and kill each other... yet, they could not. His honeyed, masculine aroma clouded her judgement, dizzying her with fierce want. Her scent shrouded him, toyed with his control more than any before her. He was a soldier, a _god of war_, and she gave in to her base desires.

Tracy was dragged through a world of obsession, violent sex, and bloodletting. She fell in love with that which she was supposed to obliterate. Slowly, she revealed her wounds to Bella... and Bella exposed hers as well.

Near the end of the visit, Tracy informed her the Council would meet tomorrow regarding her request. The decision to allow her access to the ancestral legends had to be unanimous.

Bella was on edge. Time was slipping away. She could feel it deep within. If she did not find what she was looking for soon, Jacob would be lost to her...

* * *

><p><em>Side Note:<em>

_stregoi - vampire_

Verse from: Cosmic Love (by Florence + the Machine)

_Two more chapters left._


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